You Better Watch Out
Barmen scurried back and forth filling up pints of Guinness and dropping change into the open palms of the drunken horde. Groups wearing Christmas jumpers were met with a sea of bodies as they entered Flanagan's. A stocky security guard with a sour face tried to maneuver through the claustrophobic crowd whilst barking orders. His efforts were futile. The boozed-up crowd began to sing Last Christmas and the incorrectly sang Wham lyrics drowned out the voice of the burly security guard. Lisa sat in the back right corner with two friends, Jane and Grace. The trio had been there for several hours after luckily finding seats. Jane and Grace stood up and joined in with the singing. Their screeches made Lisa laugh. Lisa sipped on her Bailey’s and waited for her friend's double act to finish. She wasn’t a big drinker, but the Christmas spirit enticed her to splash out tonight and she was feeling unusually tipsy. The singing voices slowly faded away and the two girls sat back down.
“What a performance,” said Lisa. “It would have been better if you joined in,” said Grace with a smile. “Maybe after a few more drinks I will,” said Lisa. “Whose round is it?” Jane interrupted after downing her double vodka. The two girls looked at Lisa. “No, not me, please. It’s going to take me forever,” said Lisa. “Two double vodkas for us please,” said Grace. Lisa reluctantly stood up and couldn’t help but smile as she saw her friends laughing at her. “Bitches,” said Lisa with a cheeky grin. |
NATHAN O'CONNELL
is a 25 year old writer from Limerick Ireland. He has an MA in creative writing from the University of Limerick. At the moment, he is mainly working on short stories. |
Lisa made her way through the packed pub, rubbing off shoulders, stumbling over people’s feet, and hearing bits and pieces of different conversations. She managed to find a place close to the bar after skipping past a few unaware drunk drones. Whilst waiting at the bar Lisa felt a drink-infused confidence. She flicked back her blonde hair and looked right at the barmen in the hope that she would catch one of their eyes. It worked. Or quite possibly it was just her turn to get served. Either way she had the drinks. She turned away from the bar and could see Grace and Jane still seated at the back. Giddy from getting the drinks quicker than expected and presumably charming a barman, Lisa rushed through the crowd. Ducking and weaving she held on to the drinks tightly and with care. Not a drop spilled until a barrel like figure wearing black slipped out from the crowd and into her path. Lisa crashed right into the bouncy belly of the security guard and fell to the floor. He looked down at her as the drink trickled down his jacket that just about covered his round stomach. His face was bright red like a cartoon character. All he was missing was the smoke coming out of his ears.
“Get up. Get out. I’ve had enough of this shit tonight,” he shouted.
“I’m sorry. It was an accident. At least leave me get my stuff and say goodbye to my friends,” pleaded Lisa.
“You’re pissed. Go on away and get yourself a bag of chips and head home,” he said.
Lisa argued through the entirety of her ejection until she found herself being ushered out the door.
“Don’t leave this one back in,” he said.
The bouncers on the door nodded in agreement and the security guard disappeared into the crowded pub. Lisa strolled away from the pub, her boots splashing in the small puddles on the footpath. Her phone and jacket were still inside the pub, and she came to the realization that she would have to brave the cold and find a taxi somewhere. She looked at her watch and saw it was half nine. People around her were coming and going. Some were starting their night; some had had enough. People were singing songs, smoking cigarettes, and helping their friends up off the floor all beneath the glistening Christmas lights of the city. Despite the injustice she had just suffered, Lisa allowed herself a little smile as she walked towards the nearest taxi rank.
“Not tonight lads,” said the bouncer.
“Why?” asked Paul.
“Too drunk. Not tonight.” said the bouncer.
“We haven’t even had a drink. We’ve just came out now,” said Paul.
“Management has the right to refuse,” said the bouncer.
“Fuck this shit, Paul. C’mon and we head away,” said Ryan.
The two boys walked away from Flanagan’s, passing a long line of intoxicated groups who were awaiting their judgment on the door.
“We haven’t had a drink,” laughed Ryan.
“Well how was he meant to know we were in seven pubs already?” asked Paul.
“I think our reindeer and elf jumpers were a bit of a giveaway,” said Ryan.
“Fair enough. Anyway, fuck that. It’s only half eight. Let’s get a naggin and a bit of a grub. We’ll wait and see what the lads are up to when they are finished in Flanagan’s,” said Paul.
Ryan walked into Centra to get the naggin and Paul walked into Rio’s to get two curry chips. The pair convened at a bench in a desolate park a few minutes away from Flanagan’s. The Christmas festivities had left their mark on the park. The ground was littered with cans, bottles, and empty food containers. It was an ugly neglected area compared to the main streets with all their Christmas frills. It was the perfect spot for the two rejects.
“Did you get a mixer?” asked Paul.
“Na, better off drinking it straight. It will keep us warm,” said Ryan.
“Are you for real?” asked Paul.
“Stop being a baby. It’s only a naggin. A few sips and it will be gone. Now give me the curry chip,” said Ryan.
The two boys sat eating and drinking in. The fumes and taste of the curry kept them warm, but the vodka kept them warmer. The sensation of food filling their empty stomachs was followed by a gag and a shudder as they swallowed down a mouthful of vodka. They repeated this process until both the drink and food were gone. Slightly fuller and slightly drunker the pair laughed. Time began to move quicker for them now that they had a bit of extra vodka in their systems. They spoke about their first semesters in college, the matches last weekend, the girls they were texting, and how that bouncer was a cunt. Still listening to Ryan talk about the bouncer Paul stood up and brought their rubbish towards a bin. Before getting to the bin Paul was greeted with light shining right into his face. Ryan, startled, jumped up from the bench.
“What are ye doing hanging around here?” said a voice behind the light.
The light switched off and a man in a garda uniform appeared.
“What are ye doing here?” he asked again.
“We are waiting for friends. We just ate food,” said Paul.
“Only eating food. Not having a drink were ye? Either way ye can’t be loitering around here at this time. Get a move on,” he said.
The boys hurried away from the park and back on to the main street.
“He scared the fucking shit out of me,” said Paul.
“Don’t be such a pussy,” said Ryan.
“Say’s the fella who didn’t open his mouth back there,” said Paul.
“Ah fuck off. What’s the plan now anyway?” asked Ryan.
“Suppose we’ll walk towards Flanagan’s. I’ll ring Jack see are they nearly finished in there,” said Paul.
The phone rang out twice but on the third time Jack finally answered.
“C’mere, Jack, what's the story? Are ye still in Flanagan’s? Ye’ve been in there about an hour now. Oh, oh, nice one. See ye in a few minutes.”
“Well? What's going on?” asked Ryan.
“They’re down at the taxi rank. They found a party we can head back to,” said Paul.
“Lovely,” said Ryan.
Dave placed his bottle of beer on the glass table and sunk back into the cream leather couch. A crackle from the fire and the noise from his wife, Steph, who was in the shower, were the only things interrupting the peaceful silence. Undoing his belt, he allowed his gut to get some well-earned breathing room. Just to be safe he looked behind his shoulder to make sure no one was around. “All clear,” he muttered to himself. He opened his phone and got up Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, and Pornhub. This alone time was the highlight of Dave’s day. Whether it happened in the morning or night it had become a ritual to look through these different apps and fawn over all the women he came across. Dave, hand down his pants, and completely engrossed in his phone, didn’t realize the shower had stopped.
“That was a lovely shower,” said Steph as she entered the kitchen.
Dave jumped and, in a flash, closed all tabs on his phone and yanked his hand out of his pants. Thank God she went into the kitchen he thought.
“Are you having a drink?” asked Steph.
“Yeah, I just opened a bottle,” said Dave.
“Grand, I’ll get a glass of wine and we’ll watch a film,” said Steph.
“Sounds good,” said Dave, rolling his eyes.
Steph walked into the sitting room wearing fluffy grey slippers and a fleece grey dressing gown. She put her glass of wine on the table and snuggled in next to Dave.
“Sarah said she will be home in a few days. She is having a few nights out with the girls first,” said Steph.
“Is that why we are paying for her college? For her to have a few nights out in Dublin? Seems like that’s all she’s doing,” said Dave.
“Will you relax Dave. That’s all part of the experience. Now be quiet and we watch the film,” said Steph.
A glass of wine and a half hour later Steph was asleep. After waiting five minutes to make sure she was properly asleep Dave took out his phone and picked up where he let off. He found himself scrolling through photos of his daughter's friends on Facebook. Dave looked at Steph again, still asleep under his right arm. He noticed she was naked under the dressing gown. He slipped his right hand under it and began to feel her. Right hand on her breast and left hand allowing him access to any woman he wanted, Dave was living out a fantasy he had never dreamed of. However, the euphoria was short lived. He realized he needed a free hand to achieve his goal. Dave tried to place his phone on his stomach and put his left hand down his pants all in one move, but the phone slid off his belly and on to the floor just as his hand slid down his pants. There was a loud thud followed by a painful moment of silence that lasted an eternity in Dave’s mind. Steph slowly awoke. She felt Dave’s right hand on her breast, saw his left hand down his pants, and saw a young girl looking back at her from the screen on Dave’s phone.
“What the fuck is going on?” screamed Steph as she pulled away from Dave.
“Nothing love, nothing. I was just relaxing,” said Dave.
“Nothing? Who is that on the phone? Why was your hand down your pants? Nothing is it?”
“I can explain, love.”
Dave reached out towards Steph, but she pulled away and covered herself up with her dressing gown. She looked at Dave in disgust before running up the stairs.
“Steph, will you come down and let me explain,” Dave shouted up the stairs.
“Don’t fucking come near me,” screamed Steph.
Beads of sweat began to form on Dave’s forehead, and he frantically rubbed his hands through his greying hair. His shameful fantasies created a real-life nightmare. He took a bottle of Jack Daniels out of the drink cabinet and poured out a glass full. He swallowed it in one go, and then poured another. “I have to get out of here,” he whispered. He splashed some water on his face and grabbed his car keys. Once in the car he looked at the time on the radio. It was ten past nine. “I’ll go for a drink. It will be grand tomorrow. I’ll sort it out,” he said to himself. As he sat off towards town the thought of those Facebook photos loomed larger in his mind. The pleasure of his fantasy began to outweigh the guilt.
Lisa walked with her arms folded, shivering, as her eyes watered up from the breeze. She had just left the crowds and the main street of pubs and was now in a more derelict part of town. The taxi rank was still a bit away but this poorly lit street with knackered looking apartments was the quickest route. Her tipsiness helped her get this far without a worry but now she could hear footsteps close behind her. Nothing to worry about. It’s just people walking home, she thought. She couldn’t bring herself to look around, fearful of drawing attention. Every worst possible outcome of the walk fizzed through her mind. “Stop overthinking,” she said to herself as she upped her pace.
Excited about the party, Ryan and Paul walked towards the taxi rank with a spring in their step. They didn’t care about the bouncer now. Paul's phone rang and cut Ryan off in the middle of a story about the girls he hopes to meet at the party.
“Yeah Jack? No bother. Wait on for us, we will be down in a sec,” said Paul.
“What did he say?” asked Ryan.
“They got a taxi just now. He said they’ll wait for us, but we’ll have to hurry. C’mon we may as well run,” said Paul.
The pair took off. The thunderous sound of their feet echoed down the gloomy street.
The sound of running sent a wave of fear through Lisa’s body. She tried to run but her heels sent her wobbling. She fell to the floor and covered her face with her hand. Crying and trembling, she struggled to catch her breath. The running footsteps stopped as Paul and Ryan walked towards Lisa.
“Are you okay?” asked Ryan.
“Please just leave me alone,” cried Lisa.
“Do you need some help?” asked Paul.
Paul and Ryan turned away from Lisa and looked at headlights shining right at them. A car pulled up and a grey-haired man began to yell out the window.
“Oi, get the fuck away from her,” shouted the man.
“What? We were trying to help her,” said Paul.
“Get away out of it before I ring the guards,” said the man.
Ryan and Paul looked at each other and without saying a word sped off into the darkness.
Having a better view of the scared girl the man recognized her.
“Lisa? Is that you?” he asked.
Lisa took her hands away from her eyes and looked at the man for a few seconds before realizing who it was.
“Sarah’s dad?” she asked.
“Jesus, you know me long enough now to call me Dave. Get in and I’ll drop you home,” he said.
Seeing a familiar face put Lisa at ease. The hysteria was over. She got into Dave’s car and felt safe.
“What are you doing walking around town by yourself at this time?” he asked.
“Long story. I’m just happy to be going home,” she said.
“Who were those lads? What were they doing?” he asked.
“I have no idea. I thought they were running after me but maybe I overreacted. They didn’t do anything to me,” she said.
“Probably because I showed up just in time.”
“You’re probably right. Thank God you did.”
“You never know what weirdos you could bump into at this time of night, Lisa.”
“So, what were you doing out at this time?”
“Ahhh, am, I was picking up some stuff for Steph in the shop. Anyway, how are you getting on in college?”
“I’m enjoying it. The nights out are fun. How’s Sarah getting on?”
“Same as yourself. It’s all about the nights out apparently.”
The pair laughed for a moment and Lisa felt a hand rub across her thigh. The laughing stopped abruptly.
“You’re freezing Lisa. Do you want me to turn on the heating?” he asked.
“No, no thank you, Dave. We’re almost at my house now,” she said, her voice cracking.
Dave left his hand on her thigh and neither of them said a word. After a few minutes he finally moved his hand and pressed a button to lock the doors. It startled Lisa and she eyed up each door locking. Dave remained focused on the road and took a right turn at a crossroads.
“My house is to the left. You took a wrong turn.” said Lisa.
Dave ignored her.
“Dave...,” whispered Lisa.
“Get up. Get out. I’ve had enough of this shit tonight,” he shouted.
“I’m sorry. It was an accident. At least leave me get my stuff and say goodbye to my friends,” pleaded Lisa.
“You’re pissed. Go on away and get yourself a bag of chips and head home,” he said.
Lisa argued through the entirety of her ejection until she found herself being ushered out the door.
“Don’t leave this one back in,” he said.
The bouncers on the door nodded in agreement and the security guard disappeared into the crowded pub. Lisa strolled away from the pub, her boots splashing in the small puddles on the footpath. Her phone and jacket were still inside the pub, and she came to the realization that she would have to brave the cold and find a taxi somewhere. She looked at her watch and saw it was half nine. People around her were coming and going. Some were starting their night; some had had enough. People were singing songs, smoking cigarettes, and helping their friends up off the floor all beneath the glistening Christmas lights of the city. Despite the injustice she had just suffered, Lisa allowed herself a little smile as she walked towards the nearest taxi rank.
“Not tonight lads,” said the bouncer.
“Why?” asked Paul.
“Too drunk. Not tonight.” said the bouncer.
“We haven’t even had a drink. We’ve just came out now,” said Paul.
“Management has the right to refuse,” said the bouncer.
“Fuck this shit, Paul. C’mon and we head away,” said Ryan.
The two boys walked away from Flanagan’s, passing a long line of intoxicated groups who were awaiting their judgment on the door.
“We haven’t had a drink,” laughed Ryan.
“Well how was he meant to know we were in seven pubs already?” asked Paul.
“I think our reindeer and elf jumpers were a bit of a giveaway,” said Ryan.
“Fair enough. Anyway, fuck that. It’s only half eight. Let’s get a naggin and a bit of a grub. We’ll wait and see what the lads are up to when they are finished in Flanagan’s,” said Paul.
Ryan walked into Centra to get the naggin and Paul walked into Rio’s to get two curry chips. The pair convened at a bench in a desolate park a few minutes away from Flanagan’s. The Christmas festivities had left their mark on the park. The ground was littered with cans, bottles, and empty food containers. It was an ugly neglected area compared to the main streets with all their Christmas frills. It was the perfect spot for the two rejects.
“Did you get a mixer?” asked Paul.
“Na, better off drinking it straight. It will keep us warm,” said Ryan.
“Are you for real?” asked Paul.
“Stop being a baby. It’s only a naggin. A few sips and it will be gone. Now give me the curry chip,” said Ryan.
The two boys sat eating and drinking in. The fumes and taste of the curry kept them warm, but the vodka kept them warmer. The sensation of food filling their empty stomachs was followed by a gag and a shudder as they swallowed down a mouthful of vodka. They repeated this process until both the drink and food were gone. Slightly fuller and slightly drunker the pair laughed. Time began to move quicker for them now that they had a bit of extra vodka in their systems. They spoke about their first semesters in college, the matches last weekend, the girls they were texting, and how that bouncer was a cunt. Still listening to Ryan talk about the bouncer Paul stood up and brought their rubbish towards a bin. Before getting to the bin Paul was greeted with light shining right into his face. Ryan, startled, jumped up from the bench.
“What are ye doing hanging around here?” said a voice behind the light.
The light switched off and a man in a garda uniform appeared.
“What are ye doing here?” he asked again.
“We are waiting for friends. We just ate food,” said Paul.
“Only eating food. Not having a drink were ye? Either way ye can’t be loitering around here at this time. Get a move on,” he said.
The boys hurried away from the park and back on to the main street.
“He scared the fucking shit out of me,” said Paul.
“Don’t be such a pussy,” said Ryan.
“Say’s the fella who didn’t open his mouth back there,” said Paul.
“Ah fuck off. What’s the plan now anyway?” asked Ryan.
“Suppose we’ll walk towards Flanagan’s. I’ll ring Jack see are they nearly finished in there,” said Paul.
The phone rang out twice but on the third time Jack finally answered.
“C’mere, Jack, what's the story? Are ye still in Flanagan’s? Ye’ve been in there about an hour now. Oh, oh, nice one. See ye in a few minutes.”
“Well? What's going on?” asked Ryan.
“They’re down at the taxi rank. They found a party we can head back to,” said Paul.
“Lovely,” said Ryan.
Dave placed his bottle of beer on the glass table and sunk back into the cream leather couch. A crackle from the fire and the noise from his wife, Steph, who was in the shower, were the only things interrupting the peaceful silence. Undoing his belt, he allowed his gut to get some well-earned breathing room. Just to be safe he looked behind his shoulder to make sure no one was around. “All clear,” he muttered to himself. He opened his phone and got up Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, and Pornhub. This alone time was the highlight of Dave’s day. Whether it happened in the morning or night it had become a ritual to look through these different apps and fawn over all the women he came across. Dave, hand down his pants, and completely engrossed in his phone, didn’t realize the shower had stopped.
“That was a lovely shower,” said Steph as she entered the kitchen.
Dave jumped and, in a flash, closed all tabs on his phone and yanked his hand out of his pants. Thank God she went into the kitchen he thought.
“Are you having a drink?” asked Steph.
“Yeah, I just opened a bottle,” said Dave.
“Grand, I’ll get a glass of wine and we’ll watch a film,” said Steph.
“Sounds good,” said Dave, rolling his eyes.
Steph walked into the sitting room wearing fluffy grey slippers and a fleece grey dressing gown. She put her glass of wine on the table and snuggled in next to Dave.
“Sarah said she will be home in a few days. She is having a few nights out with the girls first,” said Steph.
“Is that why we are paying for her college? For her to have a few nights out in Dublin? Seems like that’s all she’s doing,” said Dave.
“Will you relax Dave. That’s all part of the experience. Now be quiet and we watch the film,” said Steph.
A glass of wine and a half hour later Steph was asleep. After waiting five minutes to make sure she was properly asleep Dave took out his phone and picked up where he let off. He found himself scrolling through photos of his daughter's friends on Facebook. Dave looked at Steph again, still asleep under his right arm. He noticed she was naked under the dressing gown. He slipped his right hand under it and began to feel her. Right hand on her breast and left hand allowing him access to any woman he wanted, Dave was living out a fantasy he had never dreamed of. However, the euphoria was short lived. He realized he needed a free hand to achieve his goal. Dave tried to place his phone on his stomach and put his left hand down his pants all in one move, but the phone slid off his belly and on to the floor just as his hand slid down his pants. There was a loud thud followed by a painful moment of silence that lasted an eternity in Dave’s mind. Steph slowly awoke. She felt Dave’s right hand on her breast, saw his left hand down his pants, and saw a young girl looking back at her from the screen on Dave’s phone.
“What the fuck is going on?” screamed Steph as she pulled away from Dave.
“Nothing love, nothing. I was just relaxing,” said Dave.
“Nothing? Who is that on the phone? Why was your hand down your pants? Nothing is it?”
“I can explain, love.”
Dave reached out towards Steph, but she pulled away and covered herself up with her dressing gown. She looked at Dave in disgust before running up the stairs.
“Steph, will you come down and let me explain,” Dave shouted up the stairs.
“Don’t fucking come near me,” screamed Steph.
Beads of sweat began to form on Dave’s forehead, and he frantically rubbed his hands through his greying hair. His shameful fantasies created a real-life nightmare. He took a bottle of Jack Daniels out of the drink cabinet and poured out a glass full. He swallowed it in one go, and then poured another. “I have to get out of here,” he whispered. He splashed some water on his face and grabbed his car keys. Once in the car he looked at the time on the radio. It was ten past nine. “I’ll go for a drink. It will be grand tomorrow. I’ll sort it out,” he said to himself. As he sat off towards town the thought of those Facebook photos loomed larger in his mind. The pleasure of his fantasy began to outweigh the guilt.
Lisa walked with her arms folded, shivering, as her eyes watered up from the breeze. She had just left the crowds and the main street of pubs and was now in a more derelict part of town. The taxi rank was still a bit away but this poorly lit street with knackered looking apartments was the quickest route. Her tipsiness helped her get this far without a worry but now she could hear footsteps close behind her. Nothing to worry about. It’s just people walking home, she thought. She couldn’t bring herself to look around, fearful of drawing attention. Every worst possible outcome of the walk fizzed through her mind. “Stop overthinking,” she said to herself as she upped her pace.
Excited about the party, Ryan and Paul walked towards the taxi rank with a spring in their step. They didn’t care about the bouncer now. Paul's phone rang and cut Ryan off in the middle of a story about the girls he hopes to meet at the party.
“Yeah Jack? No bother. Wait on for us, we will be down in a sec,” said Paul.
“What did he say?” asked Ryan.
“They got a taxi just now. He said they’ll wait for us, but we’ll have to hurry. C’mon we may as well run,” said Paul.
The pair took off. The thunderous sound of their feet echoed down the gloomy street.
The sound of running sent a wave of fear through Lisa’s body. She tried to run but her heels sent her wobbling. She fell to the floor and covered her face with her hand. Crying and trembling, she struggled to catch her breath. The running footsteps stopped as Paul and Ryan walked towards Lisa.
“Are you okay?” asked Ryan.
“Please just leave me alone,” cried Lisa.
“Do you need some help?” asked Paul.
Paul and Ryan turned away from Lisa and looked at headlights shining right at them. A car pulled up and a grey-haired man began to yell out the window.
“Oi, get the fuck away from her,” shouted the man.
“What? We were trying to help her,” said Paul.
“Get away out of it before I ring the guards,” said the man.
Ryan and Paul looked at each other and without saying a word sped off into the darkness.
Having a better view of the scared girl the man recognized her.
“Lisa? Is that you?” he asked.
Lisa took her hands away from her eyes and looked at the man for a few seconds before realizing who it was.
“Sarah’s dad?” she asked.
“Jesus, you know me long enough now to call me Dave. Get in and I’ll drop you home,” he said.
Seeing a familiar face put Lisa at ease. The hysteria was over. She got into Dave’s car and felt safe.
“What are you doing walking around town by yourself at this time?” he asked.
“Long story. I’m just happy to be going home,” she said.
“Who were those lads? What were they doing?” he asked.
“I have no idea. I thought they were running after me but maybe I overreacted. They didn’t do anything to me,” she said.
“Probably because I showed up just in time.”
“You’re probably right. Thank God you did.”
“You never know what weirdos you could bump into at this time of night, Lisa.”
“So, what were you doing out at this time?”
“Ahhh, am, I was picking up some stuff for Steph in the shop. Anyway, how are you getting on in college?”
“I’m enjoying it. The nights out are fun. How’s Sarah getting on?”
“Same as yourself. It’s all about the nights out apparently.”
The pair laughed for a moment and Lisa felt a hand rub across her thigh. The laughing stopped abruptly.
“You’re freezing Lisa. Do you want me to turn on the heating?” he asked.
“No, no thank you, Dave. We’re almost at my house now,” she said, her voice cracking.
Dave left his hand on her thigh and neither of them said a word. After a few minutes he finally moved his hand and pressed a button to lock the doors. It startled Lisa and she eyed up each door locking. Dave remained focused on the road and took a right turn at a crossroads.
“My house is to the left. You took a wrong turn.” said Lisa.
Dave ignored her.
“Dave...,” whispered Lisa.