Sun & Moon
I am a Pisces, but I wasn’t always.
I used to be more…capricious
But you and I were always yin and yang,
always the same and separate,
circling each other,
two bull-fishes butting heads
in the most loving way possible,
the tender caresses of exasperation.
I cared not for myself, only you.
You cared not for yourself, only me.
Some may have called it codependency,
but I prefer to think of us as a lean-to,
two sides of a triangle, the strongest shape,
the hypotenuse the ground beneath us.
We trusted each other more than the ground.
It was only the circumstances that broke us,
separated us by miles and then by a veil
I thought no spoken or written word could ever pierce.
I still remember the times you found me, bleeding
by my own hand, sometimes my nails
were the sharpest thing I could find.
I heard someone say last week that your freckles
are where your lover often kissed you in your past lives,
and mine are speckled up and down my arms,
over every crucial bloodline.
The radial kiss and the ulnar, so tender,
your lips fluttering against my skin like a steadfast ventricle.
The only reminder of my existence I didn’t loathe.
The way I melted for you,
let you hold my lake of tears and torrential agony.
I still think you hold me when I cry.
When I panic, unable to breathe fast enough to keep up
with my frantic thoughts, I swear I can feel your hand on my chest.
Steady, love, it’s the Trojan war, not a marathon, you’d say.
I’d laugh. It’s the hundreds-years-war, actually,
but call me Odysseus because I seem to be the only survivor
Every day you followed me into battle, despite
what you were facing.
My biggest regret is that I was too busy fighting myself to help you fight
But if the ghosts are to be believed,
my fight kept you fighting, and I,
desolate, tragic, shattering,
was enough just by virtue of existing.
ELLORA LAWHORN is a queer writer from Northeast Ohio. She enjoys collecting rocks, loving on her cats, and exploring bookstores. Ellora’s poetry centers mainly on mystery, trauma, grief, and hope. She also writes mystery novels. She can be found on Instagram @ellrosewrites.